The Biggest Box Office Bombs of the Last Decade

The Biggest Box Office Bombs of the Last Decade:
By Darrin Jones / December 18

So we’re drawing closer to the year’s end and, for all you doomsayers out there, so is the end of the world. It’s true! I mean, did you see 2012 with John Cusack? Sure it was a bad movie, but you just wait, when the cosmic shit hits the fan you’ll be kicking yourself for not having that last piece of cake you’ve been saving. To reign in the apocalyptic prophecies floating around out there, let’s just take a moment to reflect on everything mankind is leaving behind. Most importantly the really, really crappy blockbuster movies. So sit back, listen to that one R.E.M. song on repeat, and checkout the biggest box-office bombs of the last decade.

Green Lantern (2011)

When Parallax, a massive being that feeds on fear and death, threatens to take over the universe, it is up to the cosmic protectors of peace and justice to stop it. But the ancient Green Lantern Corps is going to need help from one unlikely man from Earth to do it. Hal Jordan, a thrill-seeking test pilot, will have to unlock the secrets to controlling his knew found Green Lantern powers and save the universe from Parallax's rampage.

Why did it bomb? Bad casting, bad writing, and crappy effects.
Green Lantern is just your classic quick cash-in trying to hop on the bandwagon. In this case, it's comic book adaptations and the leading cause of death for comic book movies is a film team that doesn't understand the source material. But it's not entirely their fault as Green Lantern was starting out of the gate with a limp before the movie even hit theaters. Basically, the Green Lantern character just isn't that popular. The general audience didn't know much about what the story would be so enthusiasm was minimal. Then add the fact that Ryan Reynolds, an extremely polarizing actor, would be playing the role of Hal Jordan and enthusiasm was steadily falling. Finally, multiple all this by some early release images of Hal's completely CGI suit and audience expectations were in the toilet. Which is perfect because Parallax looks like a wave of sentient pooh.



How bad did it bomb? It lost $108,633,050
They probably spent too much money putting Reynolds head on a cartoon body.
 
Speed Racer (2008)

In the future, car races have been pushed the max causing them to become the biggest, most expensive spectacle to dominate the entertainment scene. The young aptly named racecar driver, Speed Racer, is unbeatable in the sport and dominates the races. But when he uncovers a seedy plot by a wealthy syndicate to control the outcome of the races, Speed will have to race against time to win the big upcoming race and expose the syndicate's plans to take over the racing circuit.

Why did it bomb? Nobody can tell what's going on.
So here we have another adaptation but this time instead of comics we're going for cartoons. And not just any cartoon but a 60's cartoon. Not only was Speed Racer riding the nostalgia coattails but it was also headed by successful director duo, the Wachowskis. The film had all the ingredients for success so why did it flop? Well for one the action scenes were EXTREMELY ANNOYING! The special effects were so flat and flying at you so fast that your eyes would try to roll back into your skull just to avoid looking at the screen. Everything is way too fast paced and the jumpy editing just further removes the audience. Pile in some bland dialogue and blander acting and the whole thing just smashes into a brick wall of uninteresting.



How bad did it bomb? It lost $114,479,584
It might’ve been cheaper just to crash real cars.

All the King's Men (2006)

Following the life of a Southern politician with lofty ambitions, he soon falls into corruption and scandal. Willie Stark rises to office as an idealistic politician and man of the people. But when the realities of the situation cause him to sellout his own morals, he brings everyone around him down with him.

Why did it bomb? It was a serious flick that no one could take serious.
All the King’s Men (2006) should have, by all accounts, been a critically acclaimed masterpiece. It’s an adaptation of an award winning novel involving corruption in politics and featuring a star-studded cast; a star-studded cast that took a backseat to Sean Penn’s outlandish acting talent. And by “acting talent” I mean he shouts a lot in a funny Southern accent. What’s worse, the film approaches the subject of backroom politics and corrupt administrations with the subtle of a jackhammer. All the King’s Men needed a few more men to rope in Penn’s performance and point out that allegories are only allegories if you don’t spell out everything.



How bad did it bomb? It lost $52,511,544
When Sean Penn is chewing the scenery this much, don’t offer him seconds.

Sahara (2005)

Dirk Pitt -- sigh, yes that is the character's name -- is an adventurer and explorer extraordinaire dead-set on solving the long-standing and lucrative mystery of a missing ship filled with rare coins. The clues bring him to the Sahara Desert and the center of a dastardly plot that threatens to wipeout countless innocent lives.

Why did it bomb? Matthew McConaughey is NOT an action star.
Also, did you read the summary of the plot? There’s nothing of substance here. Sahara was a quick flick trying to cash-in another action/adventure movie like Tomb Raider before it but completely lacking in even Tomb Raider’s level of charm. McConaughey might be fine as a romantic or comedic foil but leading action hero material he is not. Toss in the fact that the movie does a complete 180 from treasure hunting to humanitarian and environmental message and Sahara gets left in the sand.



How bad did it bomb? It lost $144,857,030
Come on guys, did you learn nothing from the movie Ishtar?

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